Everyone else seems to have life all figured out. It’s easy to wonder, why am I such a hot mess?
Stop comparing yourself to your friends!
The worst feeling in the world is that you are not good enough, worthy of love, or a complete failure. It’s easy to climb down the rabbit hole of comparing yourself with friends especially with personal finance.
You might make half the income of your peers, have student loan payments more than your rent, or drive a car that’s 14 years old. With social media you see friends travel to Europe, get a promotion, or buy a home. When you want those things and don’t have them, you feel like crap!
Here’s how to stop comparing yourself to your friends.
1. Realize external appearance of success doesn’t mean genuine happiness.
A six-figure income, house in the best neighborhood, and climbing up the corporate ladder does not mean internal fulfillment. The main character of How I Met Your Mother, admitted that as the show grew in popularity he grew into a deep depression.
He thought when he tasted success, then he’d be happy. The opposite happened. The more success he had, the more his depression increased. Watch his moving testimony here.
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2. Name your habit of comparing yourself as pride and turn to humility.
Until recently I didn’t realize the true meaning of pride. I associated pride with being content and satisfied with your work. A more accurate meaning of pride is when the focus is on yourself (versus God or a higher power). Pride is viewing yourself as better than others. The shocking revelation to me is that pride is also viewing yourself as worse than others.
My mind was blown. All the thoughts of, “That person is way further along in their career than me.” Or “Wow they have the partner, kids, and house with a white picket fence, and I don’t.” Comparing yourself to others is pride.
The antidote to pride is humility. This article explains humility, “In humility, you are nothing more and nothing less than the other people around you.”
3. Redefine what you perceive as a personal weakness as your strength
For example, if you perceive yourself as poor as you’re starting over in a new career, you think a lower income is a sign of weakness. Look at the strength of this temporary financial state. You have an opportunity to experience life without an attachment to massive consumerism and materialism.
You can experience minimalism and gratitude for what you do have in life. Your strength is also taking a risk in a lower paying career to pursue meaning in your life.
Stop comparing yourself to your friends with those three tips. Remember, the external appearance of success doesn’t mean internal success. Turn your pride of feeling worse than others into humility and believing full heartedly that you aren’t worse than your friends. Lastly pinpoint what you view as your weakness and see the strength in your struggle.
P.S. Managing money is hard, especially when it seems like everyone else has it together! Want more help? I have slots for one-on-one coaching sessions. Space is limited! Get the details here and save your spot.